i never realized how much people read this. i got 2000 hits in one day. this is a year old, yet everyone reads it and i just wanted to update. i moved. away from travis, the twins, jessie, and all my problems. i recovered from my eating disorders, found new friends, got off of drugs, got help for depression, and found new great guys in my life. today would be mine and travis's year long anniversary. i still have feelings toward him, but he still to this day hates me. one day we will talk again. ill update then too. i have a livejournal now. xannonmousxluvx feel free to add me if you have one, and since its friends only comment and ill add you back. if i could i would tell travis i miss him and i love him for everything he ever did for me. he doesnt want to hear it. when i do talk to him, ill update. it wont be pretty but itll be okay. the other day jessie told him i said hey and he said back to her, "you still talk to that damn bitch? tell her i said hey fuck you and go to hell." life is good for the most part now. i think im bipolar. i have my emotional breakdowns all the time. i cry a lot, but im okay. i dont have a boyfriend, but i get by. i dont want a boyfriend. i want to love someone the amount i loved travis and be that close to them again before i give my heartaway, because it hasnt been fully given back, but i dont want it back. me n jessi r friends again. i called her today. weve been talking a lot. everything was just a big mistake and she apologized for ditching me for the twins. if i could i would move back to texas rite now. but im content where i am. ill take a roadtrip this summer. ill see jessi, ill give travis a piece of my mind, and maybe even fight christina demas. thank you all for reading this. it means a lot to me that i could become one of the most popular blogs. if anyone ever needs help out there, im here for you, just leave a comment or tmail me. always be good and follow your heart. it will get broken a few times, but it will get put back together. ur true friends will always be there for you, just b patient. everything will get better whether you believe it or not. just make a few sacrafices, and everything will be okay.
P.S. travis and he new girlfriend, lauren, who was talked about in here before, are still together. they are happily in love, even though they broke up once because he loved her and she didnt love him. hes happy. so then im happy.
JESSIE IS THE BIGGEST FRICKIN LOSER..HAHAHA..I HATE HER. gosh dang is it really that suprising that somone ACTUALLY thinks i am hot... damn ppl u r makin a BIG deal and its pissin me of ( except nicole, shes not sayin nething mean she the best!:-D) but its makin me mad so STOP!:oLater... jessie
i may not no a lot about u, but i love what i do no
well lets c here..hhmm..starting w/ friday..it was a very very "lets not do any work" kidna day. I took a test in englihs over a book i did not read, went 2 PE n watched the guyz play dodgeball n [i]wished [/i]that travis would get hit in the head with a ball n fall in break sumthing(which did not happen btw). THen in 3rd i got 2 watched findin nemo, then 4th i watched indiana jones, well i aktaully didnt watch it, i listened 2 my cd player n wrote notes. Then we had a pep ralley..uggh, i hate pep realleys, so i went 2 the commons w/ a bunch of the football guys(who r very very very very very perverted). Well lets c here..the EVENTFUL parts of the day..the ones i no every1 just dies 2 hear aobut, b/c they r just so juicy! Well, in lunch a class was takin a test had A lunch, so there was a ton of people in our lunch, including Lauren, who sat a/ Jessie at travis's table n did nothin but i would sposse flirted, read on n ull no why. Well everyday b4 4th i pass Ben in the halls u no, n were both like hey, n were liek whats up n whatnot, well on Friday, we walked by each other, n we were both like hey, n then[b]...[i]he kissed me[/i]! [/b]So naturally, i kissed him bak n jsut kinda laughed n i was like hey, i love u ben. Ok, so im pretty happy n i get 2 4th. Well Jessie is in there, n im like o hey..would u look who it is n just rolled my eyes :roll: . Then lauren comes up 2 me n shes like hey, i didnt c u 2 day in lunch, n i was like o, ya, i dont sit at the same table as i used 2 b/c there r people who sit there that i hate, n i darted my eyes towards jessie :twisted: n then i just kinda smiled bak at lauren..i think she got the picture. Ok, so i skip the pep ralley n go 2 the commons w/ the football guys..ok, well jessie desides hey im gonna skip the pep ralley 2, so she goes over 2 hang out w/ travis..n the sits on his lap, n starts flirtin w/ him! So i c her n i start yellin n gettin really pissed off, i was like omfg do u c that, n all the football guys were like whoa, calm down, n they were like holdin me bak n stuff, cuz i was ready 2 go hit jessie. N i was like omg, she better get off of him, or im gonna kick her ass(there was MUCH more cussin aktaully) but newayz, n the guys were like hey, ur not goin out w/ travis nemore, so she can do whatever she wants, u do not control him. N so im sittin there mad as hell, n i no jessie can hear me, n i yell, ya well best friends dont do that..n she turns around n she just kinda looked at me like she was sum puppy in trouble( u no that sad face people make when they think their innocent) n the just kinda turned her head bak around, n like a minute later she got off of him, n i was liek good, now stay the hell off of him bitch or im gonna come over there n were gonna start f***in WW3. Ok..so ya..i really really am pissed at her..ok..so now i find out travis likes lauren now..o joy. I found this out like 3 hours ago, n when i did it felt like sum1 had stabbed me in the chest. I mean, i thought i had no feelings 4 travis left what so ever, n then i found this out, n it hurt..really really really bad..i think it mite b b/c lauren is one of my friends..but i just no that its not the greatest feelin in the world. I can b such a hypocite tho, sayin guys rnt worth cryin over, n then look what i do, but what i hate most of all, is when people say hes/shes not good enough 4 he/she. That pisses me off so frickin much, n then i jsut said it 2day about lauren n travis..i hate this..but o well...i figure about 4 more weeks..then everythin will b gone..but the only problem with everythin being gone is..so will ben :( . I like him A LOT now, n he is so hot, n really really really sweet..ok..well that reminds me, 1 other event of friday..ok..well the class having A lunch cuz of the test, was jamies class, so he had our lunch, n well during lunch i walked by the popular guys table when i was goin 2 buy a diet coke, n i passed it, n i was like hey yall, n i guess when i finished walkin past jamie was like..damn..she is such a slut. but the guys that were at the table told me they think jamie was just kidding, which he better b b/c i m so slappin him on monday. but there is good news 2 that..earlier in lunch b4 i walked by jamie brought me up in a converstation n they were talkin about me :!: , but i guess jamie was talkin a good way. but corey did tell me that last year jamie did like me, but he wanted me 2 ask him out :?: . so ya..newayz, its cold so im gettin a hot chocolate. Good nite yall..i hop eur life is goin better than mine..
ok..i find this 2 funny..i got if from georges tblog..its hilarious..read 4 urself:
[image]xxKHSkissntellxx_1 227487121.jpg[/image]
Well newayz..i never realized this b4, but hwne u load my blog that window comes up tha tsays i should quit at life, n by u hittin okay, u r tellin me 2 kill myself. Sorry4 that..this is just my random thought.
cant fight the tempation..big gerls dotn cry, they get even
Sincere apologies to the one who reads this first. Why would you try to tell and share when for all you know tis already been told. Hiding inside is what people do best. Thier life is a play. Their friends the actors. You think its well written when you can't tell the difference but the blinded audience can tell by your voice. People come and some go. Sometimes they get out, but usually they stay. Why leave a lie so secure in its intentions when they only were the best. Youll never get out alive. As hard as it is to believe, your life does not revolve around the fire. Your time will come around and the flame will be put out in a smoky death. Although it will be dark, your heart will finally know the way.guys are a waste of braindspace. I tihnk these stupid journal things make people feel conceded because your wiritng about YOU and YOUR life and its like me me me me and occasionally a we're.... Who cares who owns the middle east? Its their fault they wont compromise and keep fighting when they split up the land. Have you ever had someone who knew you all too well? That could see right through your facial expressions and blatant words and could see what you are really thinking, really feeling without your intentional hint? check out these kick ass lyrics ettore wrote. He might get mad for me showing them, but hey man theyre good!: It's better sometimes sitting almost still Staring past the darkness that's never there! Wanting back the times of the most loved Please!! Don't forget me Of what I meant in this past life. Things that I do , as life passes fast away For the eternity of this race that this cycle will never end Things that I've done, that you've known before. For things that involve your name, I know more. chorus:maybe sooner of later they'll realize how much their wanted so i'll be waiting by the door The looks of your happiness deceiving thoughts of beliefs Summon the pools of my might There are two ways that I get upset. One where I am so upset I dont eat and another where I search to fill the hurt by eating. Today was the eating one. I ate I think 5 meals. But that is a good sign because the one showing traits of anorexia is the worse of the two. I only get that way when I am suicidal. So if I ever become anorexic you will all know that it is because I am truly unhappy. I noticed today that many people have these journal things. Eventually they get bored of them and take them out of their profile which is really a shame because I enjoy reading them. Not that the world revolves around my hapiness or state of being just that I am slightly dissappointed because I like them. I'm trying to forget your face Forget your arms that used to hold me Forget your eyes that used to own me But still i mserving you On a platter paved in gold Down on one knee I'm a servant to your wrath You dont know I'm here But I wear the smile that used to capture your heart I beg to surrender Give into the pain How can this feeling overwhelm me with grief? I'm lost in you And falling hard The grounds too rough To break my fall And so are you Hear the sounds that no one hears undisclosed from desires of fame hopeful wishing, wishful thinking all the same with a thinking hope when your life is a cave your whole world seems to echo play back what has happened over and over again and nothing new happens fast when your repeating the past the past youve long since forgotten and tried to leave behind when you came to this hole mouth dry and pasty your words hard to understnad all thats left is to swallow your pride choke on their remnants with any luck youll die Crazy how things you want to happen only happen when you least expect it. You can spend so much time thnking and waiting for something to happen and it never does, but then the moment you let your guard down and forget for one minute, it happens. So then your trying to ferget about it so it will happen but it doesnt because your stil lthinking about trying to forget it"Obsessions dont give way to pain" ... prett self explanatory if you ask me but ill give you a... something. When you feel something so bad it hurts you tend to obsess over the thing that caused it. But eventually you will learn that it doenst make the pain go away. maybe helps you pass the time. Makes you want to live because you dream. dreaming is good. I tihnk its what keeps me going. I spend most of my day dreaming. I dont have anything to wake up for but tomorrow and I am determined thnot to become one of those depressed slit-your-wrist coke junkies. I wrote something about a masquerade. Thats what school is. A masquerade ball. I wont go into detail but I will tell you that its very true. Maybe one day youll all take off your masks....
That is the most random thing i have ever written in my life, n i feel sorry 4 all yall that just read that..b/c it is one long ass thing. Well lets c..i think i m done w/ travis..i still wish we felt the same 4 each otehr as we did b4, but o well. Ben(hottest guy in the world..em n mike have seena picture of him b4..the hot asian dude if u can remmber) i beleive likes me..but that is ok cuz i like him. 2day he punched me int he arm in the hall that hurt, even tho he didnt mean 4 it 2. God he is hot. Joe is just sweet now, and even if he is rich, we have nothinw hat so ever in common..at all. We cant even keep a conversation goin 4 longer than 7 mintues, we tried on monday. but 2morrow is friday, i m so happy, even if we do have a pep ralley. I HATE pep ralleys! i hav eno skool spirit what so ever. I hate it..i wish we didnt keep winnin our playoff games, we r in round 2..we already won district, n we just keep on going. Damn good hot football players..they jsut ruin everything. THe army was at skool on wedn. and they did the pullup contests 4 teeshirts n crap..n i really want a t-shirt, but i didnt want 2 do any pull ups on hold myself on a bar 4 70 seconds, so i didnt. Travis almost did it,a nd i wish he would have so i could laugh at his ass when he only did 2. I couldnt find nick yesterday, cuz i no he wouldn thave done it 4 me, but i think he was absent. The tee-shirts had the coolest backs, theys aid PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY. I think tha tis the greatest quote like...ever. Aktually i m starting a quote book, it is gettin pretty big, but every1 at skool enjoys reading it n signing in their own quotes. Colin n Steven were at the senior lockers 2day n when i walked past them steven grabbed my hair n pulle dme bak, and it kinda hurt. I dont really feel pain, but 2day i did. Physical pain i dont really feel cuz i have a high pain tolerance, even the doctors told me that, that why i dont feel it when i break a bone, but newayz, even tho i have not very much physical pain even tho i will say ow 2 make u feel better, i have a lot of emotional pain feeling..prolly mroe than a lot of people. I need 2 sleep so im gonna go sleep;..even if it is 530. I also need 2 go fake bake, et my hair rehylights like britney spears, the blonde n red n brown streaks on her newest pictures, i no..i hate britney but i lik eher hair n her music, which i bought her CD yesterday, n imust say..IT IS AWESUM!!
[i][u]I LOVE BEN!!
TRAVIS...U CAN KISS MY ASS[/u][/i]
BTWJESSIE i HATE U NOW..THE TWINS HAVE TURNED U IN2 SUMTHIN U R NOT..I ALSO WANT U 2 NO THAT EVEN THO HE WILL DENY EVER SAYING THIS, TRAVIS ONLY SAID HE LIKED U BAK IN AUGUST 2 PISS WILL OFF CUZ HE LIKED U, OR SO HE TOLD PEOPLE, THEY DIDNT LIKE U, N U WOULD NOT B WHERE U R 2DAY W/OUT ME..SO U NO WHAT, GO 2 THE LIL TWINS WHO THINK THEY R ALL THAT. UR JSUT LIKE EVERY1 ELSE, LIKE ALLYSON N ANNA, F***ING HYPOCRITES, N HATED BY THE ENTIRE SKOOL. U NO DOLPHIN GIRL, WELL YA, TRAVIS ALSO SAID U LOOK LIKE A WHALE N THAT UR HAVE A FRICKIN HUGE FOREHEAD..SO U NO WHAT..DOLPHIN GIRL WORKS PERFECT. AND DONT U DARE TRY N PLAY HEY SAMMI, UR MY BEST FRIEND SHIT NEMORE. U R SUCH A BAD LIAR, N THE TWINS R ONLY USING U. U FOLOlL THEM AROUND LIKE A FRICKIN PUPPY DOG. LAUREN DOESNT LIKE U EITHER. SHE FINDS U UNBELEIVABLE ANNOYING AND U WONT GET AWAY FROM HER. GISELLE N I HAD AN INTERESTIN TALK ABOUT U 2DAY AT LUNCH 2. WE WANT U 2 NO THAT U AND NICOLE HAVE CHANGED SINCE U HAVE HUNG OUT W/ THE TWINS. U R NOT LONGER A SWEET LIL PERSON WHO IS FRIENDS WITH EVERY1. U HAVE BECOME SUM1 WHO USES OTHERS ONLY 4 POPULARITY. U WOULD NOT B HERE IF IT WASNT 4 EVERY1 ELSE. N U NO WHAT ELSE, EVERY1 THAT HAS BROUGHT U UP 2 THE LEVEL THAT U R AT ALSO HATE U, SO UR not POPULAR N LOVED, U R POPULAR N HATED. N DONT U DARE SAY 2 ME THAT U GOT ME WHAT I HAVE 2DAY. U FOLLOWED ME LIKE A FRICKIN PUPPY DOG N MET WHO I NEW FIRST, WHO BTW, EVEN IF U TRY ARGUING WITH THIS, U DIDNT NO THEM FIRST..I DID. U R A FRICKIN PHYSCO WHEN IT COMES 2 GUYZ, OTHER PEOPLE CAN LIKE THEM WHEN U LIEK THEM 2, NO BODY PUTS A CLAIM ON NE1.
ok..im sorry 4 that yall that read it, i m very pissed rite now, cuz jessie has desided she is 2 good 4 everything. only 2 words 4 this one..damn twins
Beena long time since i rock n rolled..been a long time.....rollin rollin rollin
WOW..its been 4ever since i wrote in here...i have the title of this stuck in my head..u no that cadallic(however the hell u spell it) comercial stuck in my head. So ya..i just got done watchin the Olsen twins movie on ABC..that is how bored i m! But i dont get how guys think they r hot, i think they look like pigs n r fat..like Hillary Duff..i guess guys find pigs attractive. Twins r after my ass..they dont find me a "very good person". They r brainwashing Jessie, so Jessie is gittin kinda weird around me..well Travis aint talkin 2 me b/c of all the trash the twins tell him that i say about him..that i never say..sorry if the dont make sense..they just like 2 tell him crap. He is a damn hyprocrite..tellin me dont listen 2 the twins, they do not but destroy people..n then look what he does. The other week Jessie tried 2 get me n him 2 talk, so she was like ok, say sumthin 2 each other, n we just looked at each other, n then like 1 minute later we were both like i hate u at the same time, n then it became a I hate u more fight..Jessie pointed out tho that it used 2 b i love u, i love u more fights that she would have 2 break up..n now she is breakin us up b4 we go 4 each others throats..but ok bak on the subject, well me n jessie started walkin away, n travis goes hey, i love u, n i go i love u 2, n kinda smile cuz we r havin a MAJOR brainwave, n so we make it look like were about 2 hug n make up, n jessie is in the bak ground goin, c u guyz, i..n then me n travis just stop n go NOT!!! n she just goes OMFG..u 2 r so affectionate when u go out, n then when ur not goin out ur the worst people 2 b around. So..ya. Halloween i paid colin n his friend 2 get me candy..5 dollars 4 5 pounds. My dad didnt let me wear my hooker witch costume again..he said it was a bit 2 revealing..LOL. Logan moved 2 crowly :? . I dont like joe, but he likes me. We go bowlin every second period now..like real bowling, n travis uses an 8 pound bal..so i have 2 tell u my sarcastic monday comment. Okay, well i cant fit my fingers in a 9 pound ball..my thumb gets stuck..seriously..it was not funny when it happened..but ok..if travis uses an 8 pound ball..he must have sum small fingers. Every1 thought that was great if u think perverted..i was like damn im glad we broke up..n the whole table just started laughing. But i tried n 8 pound the next day, n my finger fit in it..weird..i no. But ya. N travis isnt usin n 8 pound cuz hes weak...its b/c he gets a score of 200 by usin a lite ball. Ya..well yesterday i was waitin 4 my mom 2 pick me up, so i was walkin around, n me n travis passed each other, n he gave me this look that he always gives me, where he shakes his head with this smirk, but this time it felt like sum1 had stabbed me in the chest as hard as they could. I dont no why it happened..but man it was not a good feeling. He got a new hoodie..its green n says teenage mutant ninja turtles n has the characters up the sleeve. Green isnt really his color..it makes his blonde hair look red. But that was my week..
"embrace the total dork in yourself and enjoy it, because well, life is too short to try and be cool
These few last dayz have been excesivly boring..lets c here..Lauren has had mono 4 3 dayz, Jessie was sick 2day, Allye n i broke out a straightner 2day b4 gym 4 20 mintues, n we attemped 2 c what all we could do with my hair. We flipped it like major..so their was like a 90 degree flip in it, then we just did small lil flips, but the one side wasnt workin as well, so we desided 2 straighten both sides..except one side would not straighten! So we held the straightner on it, n when we took it off my hair is smoked n it was really really hot..but still not straight. LOL. Ya..that was the highlight of my day. Yesterday the highlight was that sea creatures can spontanously change sex..thanx 2 the information provided by Emily. N now i have depressing msn s/ns..lol. 2day every1 asked if i got my hair cut or recolored..i was like nope..its always like this..n every1 was like really. In class a teacher was like telling us 2 sit down, so she was like Christian shut up, Tanner do ur work, n Sammi..did u dye ur hair [i]AGAIN[/i]?! I was like no..but every1 keeps askin me that ? so heres yall's answer...no. Then sarah was like i guess the straightener must have burned ur hair so its darker now. I also had 2 give Sarah tips on flirting n gettin guyz cuz she really likes this one guy..so i m the master accordin 2 every1..i basically fell in luv with a guy in 3 weeks..sounds obsessive..but i really did love him in 3 weeks time. Mayb i wasnt in love w/ him..he just meant a lot 2 me..well ya..so i gave her tips..n ne1 who is reading this..pleez leave ur tips on how 2 go up 2 a guy, start a convo, n flirt w/ um. I tried my hardest..n i think she'll do a pretty good job..so g/l Sarah! N ya..so it was a special day. I think Joe likes me, but im not 2 sure..i dont really want 2 like him tho, cuz he is one of travis's many best friendz, but he is so sweet. 2 day he walked by me n slapped me on the butt. Over the past 3 dayz he has put his arm around me like 8 times, slapped my butt 3 times, n help my hand 2, n hugged me about 10. He looks a lot like the guy from simple plan..but hes hotter..I talked 2 travis's cousin 2day, the 1 that told me she would kick my ass if i broke travis's heart..n we talked n she was like r u in travis still goin out, n i was like nope..we broke up like a month ago..so we started talking, n i told her him n allyson were goin bak out, n she was like god damn, r they ever gonna learn if it didnt work the first time, its not gonna work the 50th. It was sum great stuff. She is really nice, her name is Rozy i think, but she hasnt talked 2 travis since like he got grounded fromt he cumputer..a [i]LONG LONG [/i]time ago..like last month. N then its rillay weird, cuz a month ago all this stuff happened that happened this month like on this day..its like my life a month ago minus travis! I saw n talked 2 all the people i talked 2 a month ago, who i havent seen in a month, like on this day..its like weirdness....so ya..i got stabbed with a few needles this mornin at skool, n now i have lil red bumps on my arm were they got pushed in..n it hurts! they were swollen, but not its just lil red bumps. so ya..im tired..btw..christina made my header n im gonna use it til i find a new 1..so thanx christina..
My new quote stollen by Ashley..o n yes ashley..i do take up the hole hall..u cant get by me!..3 times this week so far! LMAO..i guess i gotta lose sum weight! "embrace the total dork in yourself and enjoy it, because well, life is too short to try and be cool."
Time started: 345 Full name: Samantha Jo Nick names: Sam, Sammi, Stewi, Buttsex, Jay, Joey, Jo Bob Gender: female Birthplace: L.A. Hometown: PrezKit Birthday: March 23, 1989
Have you ever...
Been in love? yes Been kissed? yes the 1st time was perfect Been on stage? Yes Been unfaithful? No Broken a bone? No Broke the law? yes Called 911? No Called a 900 #? No Cheated on a test? Yes Cried over a guy/girl? yes Done something you regret now? Yes Drank alcohol? Yes Dumped someone else? yes Eaten an entire box of Oreos? All the time Eaten kajmak? Huh? No… Gone an extended period of time without shaving? legs yes..like 2 weeks Gotten a ticket for speeding? No Gotten in a car accident? no Had a medical emergency? yes Hiked a mountain? Yes Lied? Yes Lost respect for someone? Yes Lost someone you loved? yes Made homemade fudge? No Moved? Yes Peed in your pants? no Played strip poker? yes Ran away from home? no..b/c i dont think when i was 5 counts Seen the Eiffel Tower? yes Skinny dipped? almost.. Snuck out? yes Stolen? Yes Watched "Punky Brewster"? Eh? No… Witnessed a crime? yup
Do you believe in... Aliens? no Ghosts? Yeah God? it is difficult for me to believe in one when so much crap happens in the world..but i guess Heaven? ya Hell? yup..im gonna take over.j/k Horoscopes? no but it is fun to read, although they r sumtimes rite Love at first sight? yes Luck? Yes Yourself? kinda
About the opposite sex: Hair~curly or straight? either Hair~long or short? medium. or whatever looks hot Honestly, what do you notice first? eyes and butt, face, shoe size, hand size..lol Must-have personality trait: popular, does that count? Or friendlyness n loyalty Thing you love most about 'em? the butt and eyes and chest, n how they hold u n kiss u Thing you hate about them? when they make me feel stupid or when they lie or won't tell me things or are unloyal, or STUBBORN What kind of things do you find romantic? candles, flowers, cards, kissing, holding
When was the last time you... Ate? couple of hours ago Cried? yesterday Got a real letter? o donno Took a shower? this morning Watched Bambi? when i was 3
What is... Abortion? When the fetus is killed A good age to get married? 20-30 Alternative music? ok A rollercoaster? exciting Your bedroom like? not how i would decorate it..i want it orange n dak orange n white next.. The best thing that happened to you today? talkin in the locker room..or when sarah broke the twins straightener, which didnt really happen 2 me..or saying happy birthday 2 travis Your biggest accomplishment? havent got 2 yet..but when i get Travis 2 love me again..that will b a BIG accomplishment Your biggest fear? Being raped or tortured, big fish, or running a frog over w/ the lawn mower.. Classical? ick Bill Clinton? a president Country? a place Your family like? fine Your favorite thing for breakfast? bacon, or a #7 at Waffles n More Your favorite thing for lunch? uhh nothing really, cookies or blue skittles Your favorite thing for dinner? cake Favorite Food: cake at 2 in the mornin, or chips in salsa(can u say obsession) lol 2 every1 who knows about those Your good luck charm? nothin Hanson? Ewww Your height? 5’4" and a 1/2 and yes i am VERY proud of that half The most embarrassing CD in your collection? I don’t have any cds I find embarrassing… Your most humiliating moment? when i fell down the stairs..or the time jessie had a video camera, n i was talkin2 her, n i 4got how many stairs my house has, so i kept walkin down them, n i thought there was another 1 so i stepped funny n fell. Your most prized & important possession? my opinions n thoughtz Oldies? ick Premarital sex? sure Your proudest moment? uhhhhh don't have one Rap? ok Religion? sure..why not The worst song you've ever heard? anything that sounds like crap Who... Are you thinking about? Travis..well basically myself since im doin this Do you admire the most? Britney Spears..aktually i really admire christina aguilera..seriously Do you go to for advice? My friends, never parents Do you hate? anyone that is racist or close-minded Do you have a crush on (infamous)? um..duh Do you have a crush on (famous)? ORLANDO BLOOM Has it easier, guys or girls? Guys Is the best celebrity? Orlando Bloom, Xtina or Britney Is the person you respect the most? anyone that comes out about their sexuality, or is true 2 themselves n others
Is the prettiest movie gal? uhhh Is the stupidest person you know? not gunna name names but there are people Is your favorite Spice Girl? Posh Spice Makes you laugh the most? Ashley or Travis or his other personality Bob(R.I.P) or Doug Knows the most about you? Mike, Travis, Em, Ashely, Jessie, Logan n my head Was your best boyfriend/girlfriend? Travis Was your worst boyfriend/girlfriend? Travis Your favorite person(s) to talk to online? My AZ homies Your least favorite person to talk to online? many people
What are your plans for... Life? To live happy Living quarters? nice house Marriage? meeting someone i love with my whole Job? wedding planner..whats better than spending other peoples money? A future family? 2 girls 1 boy Tonight? sleep
Favorites... Actor/Actress: Orlando Bloom Animal: tree kangaroo Authors: Roald Dahl h whoever wrote curious george Bands: Saliva, Saves the Day, Taking Bak Sunday, n Dashboard Confessionals(yes i like 2 cry..lol Jason)Coldplay, Simple Plan, Fuel Board games: hmm..life, pretty pretty princess, n mall madness Book:Curious George Card game: Spoons or slap or strip poker Carbonated drink: Vanilla Coke or Pepsi Cartoon hero:Superman or Batman when im mad at Travis, n then prolly hulk or spiderman when were gettin along Cereal: cocoa puffs Color(s): red pink n orange Color socks: blue with rubber ducks Commercial: that 1 with midevil canivial or whatever.. Concert: blink 182 Cousin: Scott Day of the week: saturday Deodorant: secret, or Voodoo Axe on guyz..not on me..guyz..n that was not funny when yall tried 2 get high n dumped it on me..i smelled really bad! Designer: um..Gucci or Fendi Disney character: Mickey?! Disney movie: Toy Story or Monsters Ink..if those r disney Fast Food: Taco Bell Feeling: Cloud 9 Font: kristen Foods: chinese from Hong Kong Express Fruit: Strawberries with Sugar n dark chocolate Gemstones: diamond hint hint hint Gift: Money or teedy bears and flowers Gum: winterfresh Hang out: Joes or movies or 6 flags Holiday: Christmas cause i get stuff Ice Cream: mint chocolate chip Thing to do with ice cream: uhhh eat it or lick it off or travis's body..lol Inside joke: letsc here..there r a lot of um..but my favs r: 7 inch what?! my room is the size of a f***ing jail cell, n listen 2 my bed...were having sex in ur room! Does ice cream make u horny?! Fancy, r we going out?, ur pocohauntas shoes turn me on, flirt flirt flirt, starburst, SPOONS!, ACMA SWAT, kiss him or ill slap u, 1 french fry, i said 1 dumbass, how did u get that scar on ur leg?, FAKE BAKER..no im mexican, JUST SAY NO!! Instrument: drums Magazine: seventeen Movie: hot chick or what lies beneath Musical: i hate musicals Nail polish: french manicure Name: Cheney McKenzie Nintendo game: none Number(s): 6, 9, 3, 26 Pizza toppings: sausage Poet: me~!!!!! Quote: Just like violence u can never get rid of me-Tanner Radio station: Wild 100.3 with the freak show! Room in your house: my closet Rugrats character: tommy or chuckie Salad dressing: ranch Season: fall Sesame street character: elmo Shampoo & Conditioner: both..strawberries n cream scent Shape n why: circle, because a circle never ends Shows: 8 simple rules Shows/movies with cute guys/girls: hoho..hot elves! LOTR..Hot Chick, Pearl Harbor..ok..im drooling, lets stop.. Slurpee flavor: Coke Smell: tommy girl, or travis Soap: asira Song:"Rest In Pieces"-Saliva or "Hands Down"-Dashboard Soundtrack: none Sport: cheer or watchin football..hot guyz in tight pants..lol every1 who was their..nwo bend down #18.. Subject: lunch Thing to do when bored: day dream, rite notes Thing to wear: PJs Time of the day: 2:00am Toothpaste: crest kidz Town to "chill" in: Beverly Hillz or DFW TV Channel: MTV..64 TV Show: 8 simple rules Type of sandwich: BLT Utensil: spoon..would u like me 2 talk about ice cream travis..does this get u horny..lol... Vacation spot: Hawaii Weather: storm Website: hmm....aktually i dunno Winnie-the-Pooh character:Eeyore Word: pigf***er, word, amen, luv when travis sayz it
EITHER/OR 7-Up or Sprite? sprite 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? best friend Adidas or Umbro? adidaz AeroSmith or Red Hot Chillie Peppers? Neither Airwalks or Vans? Vans Alternative or Hard Rock? Hard rock AOL 3.0 or AOL 4.0? 4.0 Ballads or fast dance songs? fast dance Balloons or streamers? balloons Barbie or Ken? barbie Batman or Spiderman? spiderman Beeper or cellphone? cellphone Ben Affleck or Matt Damon? Josh Harnett Be serious or be funny? funny Big or Little? BIG Bitter or sweet? sweet Blondes or brunettes? brunettes who try 2 b blondes..Kyndall...lol Blueberries or strawberries? strawberries Blue or Green? pink Boxers or briefs? boxers Boys or girls? girls Brandy or Monica? Monica Burger King or McDonalds? Burger King Cali. or Florida? Cali. Cats or dogs? dogs Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit Chain letters or these things? these Chatty or quiet? chatty Cheater or loyal? loyal Chicken nuggets or chicken fingers? fingerz Chocolate milk or plain milk? chocolate Coffee or hot chocolate? frapp Cold or hot? cold Coke or Pepsi? pespi Color or black-and-white photos? black and white Corduroy or plaid? dark corduroy skirt with plaid inside the slitz..pleaded style Crazed or laid back? laid back Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons Dark or bright? dark Dawson's Creek or Party of Five? None Deaf or blind? deaf Diamonds or pearls? diamonds Disney or Warner Bros.? Warner Disneyworld or Disneyland? niether..6 flagz Emerald or ruby? emerald Faithful or faithless? Faithful Flowers or candy or poems? candy Freddie Fish or Putt-Putt? ummm...how about Hidden Lakes..lets go real golfin.. Fruits or veggies? fruits Gap or Express? Express Give or receive? both Glasses or contacts? neither Goldie Hawn or Melanie Griffith? Who? Gold or silver? silver Green beans or carrots? carrots Grey or gray? grey Gun or knife? gun Haagen Daas or Ben & Jerry's? ben & jerry's Half empty or half full? empty Hamburger or cheeseburger? Cheeseburger Happy or sad? happy Hardcover books or softcover books? how about n books?! HBO or Showtime? showtime Heaven or hell? Heaven Hello or Hi? hey Here or there? anywere but here.. History or science? science IBM or Mac? ibm Jay Leno or Dave Letterman? Jay Leno Jazz or Classic? jazz J Crew or Abercrombie? AF Jeans or cords? jeans Jennifer Love Hewitt or Sarah Michelle Gellar? Sarah Kissing or hugging? kissing Lace or satin? Satin Laugh or cry? laugh Law or anarchy? anarchy Lays or Ruffles? ruffles have ridges..damn i hate that comercial..so layz Left or right? right Left, right, or ambidextrous? right Lion King or Aladdin? lion king Little Ceasars or Dominoes? Dominoes Live or die? live Love or lust? love Lugz or Tommy? tommy Maccaulay Calkin or Elijah Wood? Wood Mary K or Lancome? lancome Mountains or praries? mountains MTV or BET? MTV MTV or VH1? MTV Mud or jello? Jello Mustard or ketchup? mayo Nacho Cheese Doritos or Cooler Ranch? Cooler ranch Nautica or Tommy Hillfiger? Hilfiger New or old? new Neve Campbell or Jennifer Love Hewitt? jennifer love hewitt Night or Day? night Nike or Reebok? nike Now or Later? now Oldies or pop? pop Old Madonna or New Madonna? new One piece or two piece? Two piece One pillow or two? 2 Open or closed? opened Oranges or apples? apples Outgoing or shy? outgoin Pankakes or french toast? french toast Pants or shorts? pants Pencil or pen? pencil Pepsi or Coke? pepsi Phantom of the Opera or Cats? Phantom of the Opera Phone or chat room? fone Pie or cake? cake Pierce your nose or tongue? tongue Piercings or tatoos? both Plain or Supreme Pizza? plain Playstation or N64? neither Pools or hot tubs? hot tubs..i hate my pool.. Pools or oceans? oceans Popcorn or pretzels? popcorn Private school or public school? public Pro-life or pro-choice? choice Puff Daddy or Wyclef? neither Rap or R&B? rap Rap or rock? rock Read or write? Write Red car or white car? red Red or blue? red Road Rules or Real World? real world Rollercoasters: Deadly or Exciting? exciting Root beer or Dr. Pepper? Dr. Pepper Rose or Lily? rose Roses or Carnations? roses Rosie or Oprah? oprah Ryan Phillipe or Seth Green? Phillipe Sally or Springer? springer Sam Goody or Tower Records? tower Sandals or sneakers? sandals Sandra Bullock or Liv Tyler? Bullock School or job? job Shania Twain or LeAnn Rhymes? shania twain Silver jewelry or gold jewelry? silver Simple or complicated? simple Singing or dancing? dancing Single or taken? taken Skanky or sketchy? Skanky Skateboards or blades? board Skaters or homies? skaterz Sketchers or Fila? fila Skirt or dress? skirt Skittles or M&M's? blue skittles Smart or stupid? lil bit of both Smiling or laughing? both Smoker or nonsmoker? dont matter Snapple or Fruitopia? Snapple Snickers or Reeses? Reeses Socks or no socks? no socks Southpark or Simpsons? both Spring or fall? fall Stay up late or wake up late? wake up late Straight or gay? either Stripes or solid? stripes Sun or moon? moon Sunrise or sunset? sunset Surge or Mountain dew? mountain dew Surf the net or do e-mail? surf Sweater or sweatshirt? hoodie Tall or short? tall Teeny or weeny? depends on the subject Telephone or online chat? fone Thunderstorms: Cool or Scary? cool Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? Brad Pitt Tommy Hilfiger or Calvin Klein? Hilfiger T shirt or tank top? tank top TV or radio? tv Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? chocolate Vogue or Material Girl? vogue VMA host Chris Rock or Ben Stiller? ben all the way Warner Bros. or Disney? wb The way it is or the way it was? was Weird or gifted? gifted Whole or skim milk? whole Wonder or amazement? amazement Wool or cotton? cotton X or O in Tic-tac-toe? hey,that ryhmes! X
Your Friends Do you have a best friend? kinda more just a lot of really good friends..but i guess so Do you rank your call waiting in order of favorite friends? yes Who are you jealous of? nobody.. Who do you cry with? myself or jessie Who do you e-mail the most?no one Who do you go to for for advice? friends, or sum1 who tells me what i want 2 hear Who do you go to the mall with the most? friends..groups of people Who do you go to to talk to about girls or guys? jessie, mike, em, logan, ashley Who do you hang out with the most? friends or b/f's? friends when i dont have a b/f, b/f when i do Who do you get the most surveys from (via e-mail)? prolly a tie Who has the best room? travis..jail cell! Who have you known the longest? mike Who knows all your secrets? myself n travis n mike n em n jessie n logan n ashley Whose parents do you know the best? mikes or jessies Who's the best-looking? hot guy:travis prettiest friendz: kendal or lisa Who's the biggest flirt? me n travis, or ashley Who's the coolest? talk: travis hang out: ash or logan or jes fone: mike n em Who's the funniest? bob or doug..even tho they r just personalities.. Who's the loudest? travis Who's the nicest? jessie or em Who's the shyest? jessie Who's your funniest friend? travis or ash
In the last 24 hours have you... Been kissed? yes Been mean? ya Been sarcastic? yes Bought something? yup Cried? yes Cut your hair? ni always cut my hair n relayer it now..this mornin cuz 1 side wouldnt curl rite..so i redid the layers.. Dissected something? no Eaten fluff? no Felt stupid? yes Fought with a friend? yes Fought with your parents? yes Given someone a present? kinda.. Gone for a run? yes Gone for a walk? i hate walking Gone out for dinner? yes Gone to the movies? yes Gotten sick? yes..remember..i threw up b4 gym..lol that was great..that why im 45 mintues late coach..i swear..ROFL Had a nightmare? yes Had a serious talk? yes Helped someone? yes Hugged someone? yes Met someone new? no Missed an ex? yes Missed someone? yes Moved on? no Not known the answer? yes Said "I love you"? yes Sung? no Taken a test? 3 to be exact and 1 quiz Talked to an ex? yes Talked to someone you have a crush on? yes..if happy birthday countz Watched your favorite movie? no Worn a skirt? no Worn a tie? no Written a paper? yes Written a real letter? no Written in a journal? ya..that online 1 thing a mubobber..even tho i dont consider it a journal..
Do you... Ask the guy/girl out, or wait for them to come to you? come 2 me..or plan it the nite b4..damn that was confusing tho..lol..r we goin out?! Believe in love at first site? yes Bite your nails? no Currently like/love? yes Do drugs? no..but travis thinks i should go get stoned w/ him..JUST SAY NO!! lmao Jessie Drink? depends on where i m Eat breakfast and then brush your teeth or visa versa? eat then brush Eat peanuts? no Eat with your mouth open? no Enjoy reading? no Ever save AOL conversations? some Get along with your parents? yes Get motion sickness? no Gossip? HELL YA Have a car? amost got my mustang! Have a deep dark secret no one knows but you? duh Have a goldfish? no Have a job? no Have allergies? yes Have an accent? o ya..my lil texas drawl..i do not frickin talk funny Mike! Have any tatoos or body piercings? ears, nim gettin my belly butt on done in like a few weeks Have a pager/cell phone? cell Have a personal phone line? yes Have a tan? yes..im mexican..duh..lol..that was great..no im a FAKE BAKER! Have a website? no Have lots of friends? yes Have siblings? if my bro dont count as a pet If you chew gum, what kind? winterfresh alwayz.. i have over 150 paks..yes i feel special..lol If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would you get? this really cool design by lisa on my bak Give high fives? nope..hugz Kiss on the first date? yes Like dressing up? no..i like my jeans Like newkids on the block? no Like thunderstorms? yes Like to swim? yes Make fun of people? duh Organize your CD's? no Prefer to date people who are older or younger than you? older Remember where you were when OJ Simpson was let free? no Remember where you were when you heard Princess Di had died? half alseep in muh room Save emails? sum Shun nudity? no Sing in the shower? nope Sleep with a stuffed animal? no..used 2..bu thtye all feel under my bed n im 2 lazy 2 get them out Take walks in the rain? yes..i go out n play b-ball 2 with Zak Think dreams eventually come true? yes Think you're attractive? depends.. Use chapstick? yes Watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer? sometimes Wear eye shadow? ya..i live 4 makeup..that why i have a hole purse that every1 ransaks in gym..duh.. Finish this off... I'm always: tired I hate: feeling stupid or close minded people I love: travis I regret: being so sarcastic w/ travis when he was depressed 2 the point he was gonna kill himself I want: a good life n travis bak I will never forget: my TX friends Additional Questions Are you a good student? not nemore Are you a health freak? nope.. Are you a player? im a pimpette..lol Are you a vegetarian? nope Are you "cool"? ask sum1 who knowz..Jessie says yes..she watchin me do this Are you currently in a relationship? semi..kinda..barely hanging on 2 it Are you eating? no Are you happy? umm sorta kinda having problems lately Are you hungry? no Are you involved in music? no Are you involved in sports? ya Are you lonely? yes Are you ready for this survey to end? YES!!!!!!!!!! Are you talking to someone online? yes Are you tired? yes Are you wearing pajamas? yes Describe the best and worst days of your life. no Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid? no How did you spend this past summer? went 2 west coast. slept, dyed my hair, the usual How do you want to die? in my sleep How many pairs of shoes do you have? a lot..over 36 How many people are on your buddy list? 196 on AOL, 98 on MSN How many rings until you answer the phone? 2, or i dont answer it when stubborn asses, u no who u r, call... How long can you hold your breath? 2-3 mins How romantic are you? (scale from 1-10)? 9 If there was one thing you could tell someone that you have been hiding, what would it be? why do u think i have been hiding it If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? have my blonde hair bak n alwayz b as tan as i was this summer If you could have one thing in the world, what would it be? have someone that loves me unconditionally and will never stray from me and show affection, n b happy If you could meet one person in the world or bring one person back to life, who would it be? orlando bloom, n i dont wanna bring ne1 bak from the dead, but i would chose 2 kill hilary duff cuz i hate her n she hates me.. If you were brave enough, what color would your hair be? blonde w/ pink streaks liek kathy's Is it POP or SODA? sodapop Name some favorite things in your bedroom. my picture of me n travis, my bed, n my stereo, n my fone On a scale of 1-10, rate your relationship with your parents. 6 What are your ambitions? yes What are your habits? playing with my hair and rolling my eyes, n saying duh, n being 2 sarcastic What are your hobbies? tumbling, talkin, n i seem 2 b cryin a lot now... What are your personality traits? outgoing, sarcastic, speaks my mind, total bitch according 2 sum people What are your pet peeves? disloyalty, back-stabbing What are your pets' names? none What are your special skills/talents? dunno What are you thinking about right now? how this thing should have been over a long time ago What are you wearing right now? pj pants n a superman shirt with matchin thong..cuz travis hates them.. What came first: the chicken or the egg? egg What car/cars do you drive currently? nothin What CD is in your CD player right now? saliva.. What color are your eyes? olive green, but they change colorz What color is your floor/carpet in your room? white What color is your hair now? brown with blonde and dark brown sum red streaks in it What country do you want to visit? im fine where i m What do you collect? nothing What do you want your future job to be? weddin planner or i dont wanna work What do you think of Ouija boards? I WANNA TRY What do you think of people who drink/smoke/do drugs? i dont care..they can do whatever the hell they want, if it makes them happy leave um alone What is your nationality? american/canadian/english /norwegion/french..lets say european if thats what this ? is asking What kind of keychains do you have? just keychainz.. What kind of sneakers do you wear? skateboard shoes or pink adidas or black ones.. What languages do you fluently speak? english kinda spanish What's a non-sport activity that you enjoy? talkin What's on your mouse pad? curious george What's the best gift you have ever received? geing able 2 love sum1 What's the best name for a butler, Jeeves or Alfred? jeeves What's the best way to die? in ur sleep What's the coolest sounding language? pig latin What's the first thing you think of in the morning? fuck skool What's the meanest think you have said to someone? at least i dont kiss people n then break up with them What's the most important personality trait? loyalty n trust What's the weirdest thing you have ever done? dunno What's worse- throwing up once or having a really bad cold for a week? cold What's your bedtime? don't have one What's your best advice? love what u have b/c 1 day it will all b gone, n once its gone, u can never get it bak. N never try 2 b what u r not..ull b unahppy in the long run. Things change, people change, and it doesnt mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesnt mean giving up it means accepting that some things werent meant to be. You dont ever stop loving someone; if you do... you probably never REALLY loved them. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing whats going to happen next. TAKE CHANCES; life is no fun without them! If you screw up at least you learned something. Everyone has things in life in which they just cant live without... those things are few and when you find one you will hold on to it dearly. Fold it and crease it. Wear it out so you can barely read the defined print that once bodly appealed to you. You might discard it due to your lack of compassion and dedication. As to find something else that you just cant live without...dont ever forget about the things you once "loved" and if it is in fact possible for you to forget or get over that certain thing then i think its safe to say that you never really loved it in the first place. What's your biggest fear? being raped, tortured, running a frog over w/ a lwan mower, n big fish What's your biggest wish? to have someone to love me What's your dream car? pink viper What's your most embarassing moment? fallin down the stairs or when i got AXE dumped on me when steven was tryin 2 get high of the aerosol..even tho travis held me the entire day n told me i smelled fine..n like him, but it sucked so bad.. What's your natural hair color? light brown What's your Zodiac sign? Aries What was the last CD you bought? a blank 1 What was the last movie you saw? i saw bad boyz 2 yesterday What was the most difficult thing you have had to do? say good-bye to my loved ones What were you for Halloween last year? a witch hooker..that was great... What will you name your first son and/or daughter? Cheney McKenzie n Travis Jay or Brandon What word/phrase do you overuse the most? nothin, duh, k, like, major When do you usually go online? whenever i feel like it When you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? cremeted Where are you? office Where do you shop? the mall Where do you sleep? my room or on the stairs when im 2 tired 2 go newhere else Where is your computer(s) in your house? upstairs office Where would you move if you had the choice? i wouldnt move, id move my friends Which movies have you cried at? many Which outfit do you wear the most? jeans, a tee, my foxy 1, with the foxy trucker hat from AE Would you ever go bungi-jumping? yes Would you ever want to be the opposite sex for a day? yes Would you rather be invisible or have the ability to fly? invisable The Past Side Does it make you sad that you can never go back in time? yes..even tho they say thigns happen 4 a reason..but yes i still want 2 fix a few thingz What do you remember most about the last year? devon What is the memory that you miss the most? having sum1 who was there no matter what time n no matter what problem Guys: If a girl asked for the shirt off your back, would she get it? not a guy Girls: Would you ever ask a guy for his shirt? i do like everyday.. Time finished: 415
Ok..2day..boring. Said happy b-day 2 Travis, i was like hey, happy b-day, n he looked kinda shocked, n then he had a shy smile n was like ya, i guess. I dont no what he meant bout the last part..but o well. Im still not talkin 2 him(that dont count as talking)..i do miss him tho. But that is my day..o in its kinda like the nicer twin, nicole aktually doesnt hate me..she cant even member why every1 is mad at me, n why Travis's hole group hates me....yes, she is stupid 4 all yall reading..but she kinda feel sympathy i think..since Travis is goin on a record of not talkin 2 sum1..I HATE SYMPATHY tho. I dont like people feeling sorry 4 me, n i dont like defeat..which every1 noes. I cant stand people winning or having a victory over me..like thats why i didnt cry when travis n i broke up. Well in gym 2day sum people were having the convo, on u shouldnt give a guy a b/j if he wont french u when ur done. Then it got in2 this hole thing where people were like well i wouldnt do it in the first place, giving head is nasty, n im never doin it, not even if im married. Then it got on2 eating out, n how they will never kiss a guy after he goes down on them. I just sat their the entire time..n when it came my turn 2 talk..i just said no comment. Then we didnt want 2 go 2 class, so we sat in the bathroom type thing..its just a room with a few sinks, n like a 30 foot long mirror n counter. Pritty spiffy. But then the athletics locker room wasnt locked yet, n the coaches come in n lock it during class, so we figured we should prolly leave since they'd walk in n we'd get ISS, which no1 wants cuz it is so boring..so we left. N then we went in the gym, n Coach John was like ladies come here, so we went over, n he was all yelling at us about how we were 30 mintues in2 class already. So finally he goes now why r yall in here so late..n b4 ne1 could talk i was like cuz im sick n i threw up. We were laughin bout lies in the locker room that we could use..like a tampon gettin lodged up but we figured that would b 2 gross..yet very very very funny..we were half high at the time, thats how our great ideas came up..LOL. Well newayz, when i said i was sick, he was like ok, but why did u need all them 2 stay bak their w/ u..i was just like support. Then we left. LOL..that was great. Just got a nother kall from a guy askin me 2 the movies on Friday, here r yalls answers..NO! Ok then..yes..2day was a special 1.. Ok..well every1 wrote a HOLE bunch of poems n i think they r all great..so im gonna put them in here..here comes A LOT of typing..ok..well here they go..n they r really really good.. [b]PLEASE COMMENT ON THE VERY LAST 1..WHICH I WROTE N MIGHT TURN IN 4 EXTRA CREDIT..I NEED OPINIONS![/b]
I always feel like i'm caught in the middle, Like i'm just a small part in one huge riddle? The problems i face may seem unimportant to others, but then i realize aren't we all like one another? my heart becomes smothered and dull when i realize, i don't wanna be like you all? i'm different and careless, i feel like everyone tries to choke me airless. . . wat people think has no affect on me, i say that with complete and total decree.
Find urself and never lose it, Don't let others cause ur personality to split. You may quiver at the thought of change but i promise u it's a fair exchange! I've learned my lesson through many mistakes Don't give into the high stakes.... the effects of no change can bring u worse aches. By ASH!!
do you wonder? what i wonder too? what it would be like if the sky wasn't blue? if the grass wasn't green if our love wasn't true do you wonder what i wonder too?
i do, wonder these things in mind? what i wonder, should be confined should i tell you or hold it all in?
whats right and whats wrong? i just can't decide will it be better or worse? happy or sad? which one am i? which one are you?
do we need eachother? or did you need me? and now you wanna throw me out? are you ashmade of the way i am? of what i am? what i do? do you wonder these things too? By ALEX!!
Gotta find your inner strength if you cant then just throw life away gotta learn to rely on you beauty strength and wisdom too your beautiful inside and out lead a great life w/o a doubt dont need a man to make things fair cuz more than likely he won't be there listen girl gotta know it's true in the end all you've got is you BY: elise...wow elise...your GREAT!
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. By..cant member..lol
why do i always do this to myself? get lost in someone else I mean i'm fine on my own i don't need you. At least i didn't until my independance fell through. and now i'm reliant on something i can't rely on? what will i do when one of us is gone? i mean we wont be here forever so what do i do when "we" comes to an end? I guess we'll just end on goodbye, and "let's just be friends" by: ALEX
*to the obvious* why'd i let my guard down why'd i let you in to a place where noones been a place deep within me a place thats always been empty till i met you i thought i knew but now i'm going insane i'm in so much pain but you loved her all along i've accepted thats where you belong as long as your glad i'll be sad but i'll never forget or even regret the way you made me feel something so strange and unknown i didn't feel alone but all thats down the drain the pain is seeping deep inside i have to hide i cant let you know i'm weak or how you've affected me i guess it was never meant to be but oh well i've only gotten stronger the pain will last longer but all this was to be expected my feelings wont be neglected let nature heal but i'll never again feel the overwhelming love that took over me but now i see we can never be haha what am i talking about?? we just met!!! but i already cant forget i'll never get over you i can never move on just something about you that i can never let go of something so special that lights up my day always gives me a way to be happy i'm me, in my skin wherever i go wherever i've been i'll always know i almost had you but it could never be us two by: ELISE
[b]ok..now here goes 1 that i wrote like at 12 at nite..it needs work..but o well...since when do i rite poems?![/b]
"Goodbye" Ever since we first met I knew loving u would b somethin i'd regret, We took it slow, friends at first, Then it turned 2 thinking about u, my heart would almost burst, You dumped her 4 me which made me proud, As soon as we went out, every1 had 2 know; people were screaming our names loud, Three dayz n nothin more, My heart felt as if u picked it up off the floor, Whenever u kissed me u had that look in ur eyes, When i saw them i new i could tell u all my secrets, no lies, I hesitated when u had first start, But then i thought we would b 2 good 2 ever part, You went left n i went rite, And thats when we started our first fight, September 24, 726 in the morning, I could tell this day would b anything but boring, Right b4 2nd period u walked up with a shy smile, You started, we need 2 talk but dont get mad, seriously, how could i b mad if this thing could only make me sad? I smiled n looked in2 ur eyes, n saw what i despiessed, I asked, whats the deal?, U said were over, im 4 real.
[i]Im goin away 2 military skool My parents made me sign the papers last nite I still want 2 b friends, and I no we'll end up goin out again I like u a lot, n i luv u[/i]
Those words just toare me apart, N did nothin but ache my broken heart.
[i]At least i dont kiss people n break up w/ them[/i]
Akward Silence, talkin is sumthin that i miss, and its sumthin we definetly lack, I know u do 2, u stare at me as if ur craving me bak, You were the one my hear had taken, And then u left, n now its breaken The joyous eyes that i once had, Have turned gray, n look sad, My makeup runs, my hairs a mess, You left, n now i can care less, Tears rolld own my cheeks like rivers, And everytime i hear u, my body shivers, Without u i feel alone, I miss the talks we shared over the fone, You were so easy 2 talk 2, n then u left, You took my happiness, U lil pigf***er theft, You got caught with drugs, mainly pot, Ull b gone 4 good, and soon 4got, Sunrise n sunset go by, And in between them i always cry, But its tiem 4 me 2 get over u, Although its sumthin i cant easily do, U'll never no how much i cared, Or how just being with u was sumthin i dared, I hate seeing a picture of u, I no all the rap we talk is just lies, I could write 10000 words about u, I could say those 3(i love u), or just use the 2, But I think about it, and now i no, Its time 4 me 2 let go, 2 say goodbye, [b][u][i]Goodbye[/i][/u][ /b]
Thanx 4 reading..luv yall so much!
sex is like pringles, once u pop da fun dont stop..
Dont u love it when u like think 4 like 5 straight hours of a good quote that u aktually made up..n then one comes 2 u..so ulook it up on the internet 2 make sure u made it up, but sum1 else already has... that happened 2 me 2day..i thought i was brilliant n then i was like dang it..man..that took me 4ever, n now that just ruined my week..although by the start of it, i can tell its not ognna b a good 1, n ill not go in2 details..but newayz, i jsut redid my messanger profile n i luv it..so im gonna put it on here:
Good girls don't lie, Bad girls don't cry, Dumb girls need "air", Naughty girls need underwear, Sweet girls aren't mean Funny girls make a scene, Perfect girls have all the class, Mean girls will kick your ass, Smart girls will excel, Gossip girls will tell, Popular girls get all the boys, Little girls play with toys, Normal girls are nothing new, So which one applies to you?
tell me which one i am? SubProfile: Click to Continue
i should just quit at life cause i suck at it
*~Needles dont hurt near as bad as a broken heart doez~*
SeX iS lIkE pRiNgLeS, oNcE u PoP dA fUn DoNt StOp
I Dont care wut u think bout me cuz it cant b 1/2 as bad as what I think of u
No1's a virgin..life skrewz us all
+-Would u find it in ur heart 2 let me rest in pieces-+
Luv is like a bird when u least expect it itll crap in ur face
When I saw u I liked u When I liked u I kissed u When I kissed u I loved u When I loved u I lost u
Lifes a dick, when it gets hard..fuck it
Guyz act like dicks 2 make up 4 the 1s they dont got..
This is one of my fav profiles prolly so far..o well..g2g do my nails..yay..skool 2morrow :x . N not 2 metion i dont feel 2 hot :oops: . Yay..ok nite
Everyone has things in life in which they just cant live without... those things are few and when you find one you will hold on to it dearly. Fold it and crease it. Wear it out so you can barely read the defined print that once bodly appealed to you. You might discard it due to your lack of compassion and dedication. As to find something else that you just cant live without...dont ever forget about the things you once "loved" and if it is in fact possible for you to forget or get over that certain thing then i think its safe to say that you never really loved it in the first place.
Stacy said that..Stacy has a lot of smart ideas n values on life..dont know why..but she just does. I havent written in here in like 2 weeks..so lets c here. Fall break was nice, i love sleeping in. But newayz, on last Sunday i was spossed 2 go 2 six flags w/ austin in mcgirt, but i blew them off n said i was going shoppin w/ josh. Well my mom comes in2 my room on sunday, n goes get up, were goin 2 six flags. If not going 2 6 flags w/ my family is not bad enough, i member austin n mcgirt r gonna b there, n i just blew them off last nite. Major crisis rite thurr. Well were leaving at the end of the day, i still havent seen either guyz, n rite b4 we leave...guess who i c. Yup..i c them. I just kept walking, but i did sum explaining that nite, well lying, which i m very good at now, n they totally beleive me. I blocked them tho. I've blocked a lot of people, every1 just makes me sick. This week at skool..ok...I still hate seeing Travis, n i hate the way the twins talk behind my bak..so i will get them bak..i like rumors..n i have a few really good ones i think im gonna use. They r jealous n dont like me b/c i can get Travis worse than they can, I can ruin his life better..Making Travis's life hell was their job, but i took over. Therefore, they hate me. Me n Jessie r really close tho, the twins were talkin bout me n she aktually was liek yall shut the fuck up, na ll this other crap 2 them..i was like thanx jessie, n then she explainged why they ahte me so much... On thursday nite we went threw every drawer n all my clothes. Every single peice of clothing i owned was on the floor. nothin in closets or drawers...she ended up borrowing sum of my clothes, n i borrowed sum of hers n her sis's sweatshirt. Now their is a big story on the sweatshirt..ok..its blue n it says smithfield raiders. Well last year Katie, jessie's sis stole it from Lisa 1 day..well Lisa is in one of my classes, n im friends with lisa(try n keep up w/ me..sorry if this gets confusing) well ok, so lisa goes hey were did u get ur sweatshirt..n i go o, im borrowin it from my friends sis. N lisa was like ok, cuz i had 1 like that, n got mine stolen last year, n it made me really mad, cuz it was my bros sweatshirt, n its like 30 years old. N then their was this big convo about the sweatshirt, n lisa wants 2 kill Katie now, cuz Katie stole it from her. I cause so much hate. Its quite sad. Im gonna go fake bake 2 day tho, get tanner..my dark skin is fading since the sun is goin away..i really dont care about cancer, by the time i get it, it'll have a cure. Well mom found out i lost my cell fone. Funny thing is, she doesnt care. Im not grounded, in trouble, or even got yelled at. Ill prolly end up gettin a new fone within 3 months at max. This makes me happy. Dad is painting the camaro once again. It was silver with black stripes, n now its gonna b black, like the other 1 was. It was gonna b black with this yellow/white/cream/really pretty color, but we desided it looked 2 girly. Its gettin new rims, tires, interior..this car is more spoiled than i m. 2morrow is travis's birthday. Im gonna just walk by him n b like hey, happy birthday. Im not gettin him the hulk shirt or KFC..i dont think its rite 2 get sum1 a b-day present who isnt talkin 2 u. Him n allyson r goin bak out, even tho she doesnt like him. All i hear is how much she hates him, she never stops saying that..i overhear her tellin the twins n anna, so does jessie. The only reason she is doing this is b/c she wants 2 piss me off..but really i dont care. The only part that makes me the least bit mad, is what shes doin 2 travis. At lunch on wed. she cussed him out. She doesnt deserve him. I always catch him lookin at me tho, but he looks sad whenever i c him. We just kinda look at each other, then i put on a shy smile, n look away. But it always seems hes lookin at me, even when hes holdin Allysons hand. Some times i just wanna walk up 2 him n give him a hug. He got caught with pot. But he still hasnt left yet. I just wish he would. Its so mean, but just seeing him is depressing. He isnt happy nemore, he'll just walk around with his headfones on, lookin sad as usual, n he wont even talk 2 his friends. He just kinda sits there. I left his lunch table 4 good. I cant stand cing him like this, n i cant stand the way Allyson treats him. He wont say nething 2 her mean, its likr shes all that keeps him there, but she doesnt even care about him, which no1 has the heart 2 tell him. Especially since every1 is afraid he'll do sumthing bad about it. Travis hates life rite now, u can just tell. N no1 will tell him, b/c he is so sucidial, n rite now, n would b the perfect time 4 him 2 pull sumthin like that more than ever, u hafta remember, travis has tired 2 kill himself b4 like over 5 times, so sucide is sumthin he is not afraid 2 do. Allyson cusses him out everyday, n now he got everything taken away that makes him happy, 4 gettin caught w/ drugs, i no he failed, so hes gotta b leaving soon. Hes not happy nemore. O well, i guess i prolly contrubuted 2 this, but their is nothin i can do about it. He still wont talk 2 me. I wanna get off this subject, it depresses me 2much. I hate seeing people i care about suffer. well ive began 2 eat again, now im eating my skittles or cookies at lunch, n then dinner. I lost 3 pounds in like 2 weeks. I had detention last nite, 4 cheating. Both me n Lauren had it, except hers was 4 walkin out of the room, n then comming bak n cheating after i had gotten caught. O well, we aktually had fun. We sat there n talked, cuz the teacher just left the room. It was awesum. But both me n Jessie had detention, hers 4 a diff class, cuz im her ride home, so i worked out like perfect. I set a new trend at skool. I looked like all last weekend 4 a bag, an old vintage canvas/messanger/sling bag. I finally found 1 at target that was like 30 bucks cheaper than all the ones at the mall, n was cuter. Well every1 was like omg, that is the cutest bag, were did u get it, so i told them, n now every1 has it, i mean like every1. So i m now a trendsetter. Go me. Kendal n Cheney(pronounced Chainy for all yall who dont know how 2 say stuff) skipped 3rd period n walked 2 joes pizza. I was gonna go with um, cuz they pulled this big thing, were they got the office 2 call 2nd period n say they were goin home early cuz they were sick, n they stayed in the halls until lunch, hung out at lunch, then went out the bak doors 2 go get pizza. I think that is 1 smart idea. Well i g2g..Colin is being a dumbass so i have 2 kick his asa.. BTW..my mom made me get a flu shot yesterday, ns he didnt make colin get 1..i ahte when she plays favorites. O well..it didnt hurt that bad i guess. I still dont know who 2 like tho..Devon n i had n interestin convo about whose hair was better tho..man i miss that kid. LOL.
P.S. Travis got his hair n straightened over fall break, nnow he looks even more like justin timberlake..
i no that i like u there is no doubt, i like you from the inside n' out, you r my love my 1 n' only obsession, why do u cause pain, hurt n' depression, i cant help but to like u, need to figure out what to do, should i waste my time knowing im no the 1 for u? or should i move on and find some 1 new? u were nice and truthful and one of a kind, to bad u went and changed ur mind, but now i have moved on there is no goind back, to bad u went and turned ur back! BY:ASHTON!
-When i found out i knew it was true for my life had ended and all because of you -look what you've done and look how it ended i knew i couldnt trust you i just had more faith in you -if things ever changed will i let you back in thats just something you will have to win WHAT YOU DID WAS WRONG! I DONT REALLY NO IF IT WILL CHANGE BACK? by: me!
*u are still my lover, so why does it feel like the world is turning over, when i have nothing to do all i can think about is u, i try to be everything u want, but i really have nothing to flaunt, can u please tell me what u need, what i feel like is a weed, in ur garden of roses, when all i know is, i am in love with you, and i dont no what to do!* by:ashton!
*i dont no why i wait for u, when i could be searching for some one new, i guess i just used to see something in u, that i thot would always be true, but now i am sorry there is no going back, i am not cutting u any slack, dont come back till u no for sure, that ur heart too has been taken and smashed to the floor, then marybe you will no what i feel, and that your feelings will always be real, but untill the day is here, i no all u will bring me is feer, so good bye to you, till u figure out what to do!**
*oh i kno why u wait for me, its that one thing in me that only you could see, i guess i just couldnt see that something in u, that thing u thot would always be true, well now i am sorry, ur right, there is no going back, and im glad ur not cutting me any slack, i wont come back till i no for sure, and i will no longer take pure hearts and smash them to the floor, cus now i know how u feel, and that ur feelings were always for real, but the day u rise above me is now here, and now i will bring you no more fear!* by joey: for ashton...ashton thats four come on give me some more!! wow! i made a rhyme!
Hm..i last trred 2 post on Friday, like what is going on u no..but rite b4 i hit the publish button, it made me go bak, n i lost like all 10000 words. It sucked yak piss. I cant memeber what all happened on Friday...lets c here...early release at 1030, which means get up, put hair in bun, do makeup, eat, go 2 skool. Every1 went 2 skool in pajamas..like ne1 cares how they look 4 2 frickin class periods..n mine i had no1 2 impress. I have no1 i want 2 impress at the moment newayz.. now im i would say 75% over Travis. I never realized how much he cared about me tho..never thought about it..n i realized what i said 2 him on the 24th must have just killed him. He rillary did like me..n i mean A LOT. What guy tells u he is gonna ride his sk8board 2 1/2 miles 2 the kroger(grocery store 4 all u Arizonies) so ill only have 2 walk 3/4 of a mile 2 c him. Or he isnt lookin 4ward 2 fall break, cuz he wont b able 2 c me. What guy wants 2 hang out over the summer, having both of u on a couch under blankets, eatin cap'n crunch with crucnh berries, while watching cartoons? man, travis said a lot of stuff 2 me, n it never sank in, i never thought about it. It never dawned on me how much he did like me. N now i feel really really bad about it. I liked how he would hold me in his arms 4 5 mintues, n not let me go n just sit there, because he liked having me with him. Or how he would just sit their, n then all of a sudden grab me n lay me over his legs n look in2 my eyes, n then say i luv u, the way he pronounces it. He says instead of love like ur spossed 2 say it, its luv, with the leaving u n then v sound. It is so cute. N then he says fancy really funny, n its so sexy...He was late 20 minutes 2 class b/c he was lookin 4 me in the halls when i saw leah n left b/c he was taking so dern long. AA..im oblivious n the meanest person on earth rite now. He even told me he wanted 2 fall in love with me. I want 2 move so bad..dont ask me why. Every1 says i want 2 move cuz i want 2 run. Run away from everything, especially Travis. They tell me im saying this, b/c it hurts 2 no what ive done, n i want 2 4get about it. Im not 2 sure if its true or not, but a lot of the time, i just wish travis would go 2 military skool. I wouldnt have 2 c him, wouldnt have 2 hear him, n wouldnt have 2 remember what all i had, that i threw out the window. But if travis keeps this 3 word thing that he is doin up, he only talks 2 me in 3 words, then i m so going out w/ Colin(his best friend)i dont want 2 hurt him more, but i really think he shoudl at least talk 2 me. I used 2 have his picture up in my room..i dont even no where i put it...its gone....but this entire week..ive been cleaning. N when i say cleaning..i mean cleaning. Every1 who has known me 4 a while nos what i m like, i m so messy and unorganized it is insane! well i have been cleaning excesivly thsi entire week. EVERYTHING IS CLEAN. i dotnk now what has triggered it, but i just havent stopped. Everything is dusted, organized. Nothin is out of place, behind, under, hidden, or in sumthing. IT is all put away. Even my bathroom is clean. Spotless. I m not kidding u, u could eat of my floor rite now. I have been vaccuuming at least 5 times a day. My mom likes the idea of my cleaning, she doesnt know what has gotten in2 me, but shes like hey, mayb this should hapeen more often. Mayb its my side effects of depression...haha..i should get like this more often...NOT! well im eating again..go me..but its still in small portions..n i have a new adiction 2 coca-cola. Man coke is good..but we ran out 2day...i need 2 tell mom 2 go get summore. Josh n i r haveng a very interesting convo, first it was what we shaved..FYI..he thinks that its ok that i shave my entire body...body hair is gross newayz. Even tho the losers at skool think its weird...Now he wants 2 go in2 fantasies....hell ya. LOL.. we just talked about my table insident. LOL. He is so sweet. Sum guyz imed me the other day n they were telling me this stuff, n i found out they liked me..A LOT. N they asked me, so i was like ya i like u 2, i didnt want 2 b mean since they r friends i guess. N then they were askin who i liked more, so i was like here, im this s/n, (which was josh's cuz i was telling josh this whole dilema at the time i was talkin2 these guyz) So they imed him n they were like who r u n how do u no sam, n Josh was like im her b/f. N they were like well i m 2. N he was like u better not b, cuz im a juior n ill kick ur damn mother f-ing freshman a$$ if u were. N then they got in this big hilarious fight. But these guyz were like thats ok, i already went out w/ her, n i slept with her 2, so ur gettin seconds. I was like hold up when josh was sending me the conov. N these guyz r gonna get the biggest slap of their life when we get off of break, or at six flags this weekend if i even go, i think i wanna go shopping. I was gonna go yesterday w/ jessie, but we didnt cuz i 4got 2 call her. N then the nite b4 i went over n we watched what a girl wants b/c we were so bored, n my rents wouldnt let me spend the ntie..they can b so mean. N last nite they wouldnt let me either. SO i told jessie i couldnt, n man..i was beggin 2 go over. So i may just spend the nite 2morrow nite. Newayz..i dont wanna go bak 2 skool. I have a hate club..it sux...but i dont care. I hate most of them 2 newayz....1 of them is Erin..man she can b the biggest pain..."my dad was a pro football player..yadda yadda yadda"..every1 is like Erin, shut the hell up pleez. Its pretty funny. She thinks its sum big deal, especially since she is so "special". There r like 5 other people whose dad's were bro football players, like 3 who played b-ball, n then their r like 6 pro baseball, n lots of peoples bros now play pro football. It is so unbeleiveably stupid! She isnt that special. I think im done w/ freshman guyz 4 now..sorry devon...every1 i just 2 stubborn n immature. Its bak 2 the older guyz 4 me. Which i think is much betta. I think i like Quint, who keeps tryin 2 get me 2 buy a baseball Tee, i told him if he could get me a small in kids i would buy 1..hes still tryin 2 get that shirt. LOL..u gotta love him. He was like HEY! on friday when i walked by his truck..hes gotta F250..red :lol: . LOL..i love it. But i didnt say hey bak..i just laughed n kept walking..he wanted me 2 go talk 2 him..Jessie's dad hates him..n Katie(her old sis)..was giving him head n she bit while doin it..i think that is hilarious. O well...i have 2 pluck my eyeborws..great fun :x . So i will write later. BTW: Mike i have added a section 4 u so u can b clued in a lil bit more than ur now.
OK :arrow: Devon moved over the summer :arrow: Over summer..got in fight with Nick :arrow: Fish CamP: made up w/ Nick, liked again :arrow: Skool starts..sux as usual :arrow: Over Nick 4 good..Jessie lieks Travis :arrow: I like Travis..Travis likes me..not good.. Jessie likes Travis :arrow: Go 2 homecomming..Meet Nick(every1 likes him now :arrow: Nick= Physco :arrow: Travis asks me out :arrow: I go out w/ Travis :arrow: 1 day..Travis tries 2 kiss me..i dotn kiss him :arrow: Travis kisses me next mornin :arrow: We break up, that nite i say mean thing :arrow: NO talking :arrow: Devon still likes me
:!: All these people im talkin about..figure it out IF U DONT KNOW WHAT I M TALKIN ABOUT EMAIL OR IM MEI CAN CLUE U IN!
ull get what you want dont worry, lovely ull get what ur looking for it comes so easy
wipe your tears on my sleeve
ull get what you want dont worry, lovely ull get what your looking for and i know its not me
so do whatever you please
look in my face tell me a lie ill cross my heart and hope that i die look in my eyes this bloods no disguise ur feeling alone but i cant see why
where do i stand you cant just pretend while im locked in the backroom bleeding again im gasping for air you say that you care im gripping the blade and pulling my hair
Got that from Tanner's profile. I think its really cool. I have no idea if he wrote it(which is possible since he rites the song lyrics 4 his band), or if he got it from sum where. O well..i liked it newayz.
2day sucked...why?!?!? FINALS......aaa..i hate them so frickin much. But i think i did pretty dern good. I didnt sit with Travis n every1 at lunch 2day..i went and sat w/ kylie, crystal, kelsey, giselle, heather, anna, sarah, n many more..but im 2 lazy 2 type rite now..even tho im in 1 of my hyper moments when i m on speed. LOL..2 bad Steven aint online 2 here me 2nite. It was great..the last time i was like this, I was like dude..im gonna go get red bull, drink it, jump off my balcony in my house, n then sue them cuz it doesnt give u wings! IM A GENIES! lmao..i thought that was just pure greatness. I can b so stupid sumtimes. Junior(the junior in our w.g. class) doesnt say hi 2 me. Everyday Im like hi Junior! n he just stares at me like im from another planet. Then i say hi chris...he just keeps on staring..so i call him werid n mean...cuz every1 loves 2 talk 2 me. 2day i was ont he floor laughing..i found it highly amusing..every since 4th period i have been this way. It was so funny tho..on my binder i have these 2 really big n hot pictures of Orlando Bloom..n hobbit(not his real name..but i think he looks like a hobbit, from lord of the rings so i call him that, n every1 is catching on..cuz he does look like 1) was tryin 2 c who it was n i was like this is Orlando Bloom, he plays the elf on lord of the rings..u c..i like elfs..not hobbits..cuz elfs r hot..n i guess hobbits r not. Every1 then was on the floor laughing..they're all like dude..u r so mean, but u put it so nice..damn ur a b!tch. I m now the nicest b!tch. Aint that great?! 2morrow we get off at 1030! GO TEAM! Man i cant wait..im goin in my pj's with a lil, okay a lot, cant live with out it, makeup n my hair in a cute lil bun. Then when i get home im goin bak 2 bed. Sounds like a smart plan 2 me. 2day in Spanish we all didnt feel like doin nething..so Jennifer, Kendal, Lisa, Amanda, Sarah, Kiley, Amber, n I sat there n talked the entire period. Jennifer may go bak out w/ Nick. hot senior guy btw, cuz they r like in love, n its so cute, but she doesnt wanna get bak 2gether, cuz last time she got her heart broke n cried her eyes out. But it doesnt matter nemore. She called him during class n they were texting each other. I will get the scoop 2morrow in class after the final most likely. I cant wait. Kendal called Travis, who is a hot college freshman, n they talked 4 a while. This class was an hour and a half of talkin about boys. I have desided giving up on freshman, or the hole dating idea, 4 at least 3 weeks. It will b good 4 me. Allyson is tryin 2 piss me off tho. She saw me walk by the front entrance where travis n every1 hangs out after skool, so she kissed him, they're not even goin out. I was gonna go n kiss him 2 just 2 sock it bak 2 her :twisted: , but i didnt, cuz that would b like the 5 second rule, n it would b like kissing her more than him u no. So i didnt, n plus..i have class. Anna, the Twins, Allyson, n Jolly r out 2 get me i swear. Never break sum1's best friends heart, or steal they're bf..their is hell 2 pay! Lemme tell ya. O well, I didnt like them newayz. Plus Nicole(twin) n Peyton dont make a good couple either. She is a major prude, Peyton is a man whore, n she is way 2 deathly skinny 4 him. Hot muscluar guy, doesnt go with 5 foot 3 75 pound sketeton. DUH. O well..they will c. Im starting 2 slowly eat again..thanx 2 the support of every1. But i didnt sit at the same table as travis cuz it felt akward n weird, so i aktually ate 2day..a bag of skittles..but nething is ok..rite! N walkin in2 the commons, Christina(twin) was starting at me, so i was walking staring bak, cuz u no..it would b werid not 2..i have 2 b a b!tch bak...i cant stand defeat as many of u no..but newayz, she turned around when i was within 10 feet of her n was like omg..she was just staring at me. It was funny cuz Nicole(other twin) n Allyson were like Christina shut up, u start everything. At least they're not trying 2 kill me..that could b a good thing. I wanna go 2 Devon's church now. He moved(kinda) n he misses me. I miss him a lot 2. Leah told him hey on sunday 4 me, n he said hey bak, n asked if i was still hotter than ever. I love him. Well newayz..(leah says devon has 2 wear a suit 2 church every sunday cuz his dad is the preacher, n he acts like a goody goody there) sorry..just had 2 get that out of my system..feels a lot better now. Funny thing! Karl didnt no what ibproffin was so it old him 2 take a tylonol. he didnt no what that was..or how 2 say it. I broke it down 4 him. Tie-lone-all. I m so good at this. He finally got what i was trying 2 say. People can b so stupid over the internet. Newayz..im gonna go. TTYL..n i LOVE every1(with exeption 2.........nvm...u all no who i mean :x .
SONG: Outkast-bombsoverbaghdad QUOTE OF THE DAY!: [b]It brings u closer; breaking up and not talking. When you finally start talking again, you just love them deeper than b4, n u realize how stupid u were 4 letting sumthing get inbetween what u have had.[/b]-Kendal! I love u girl! A YEAR AGO: I like Devon, Micahel, and Chris TWO YEARS AGO: I liked Clayton Funny how i memeber this stuff! MOOD: on speed CRUSH: no body i think...
Austin n my question of the day: What do u do when u stop caring. My answer: nothing. Jessie likes IRby, mayb they'll go out n we'll have a new table 2 go sit at..Im sick of this 1..this is my 5th 1 this year. I cant stand looking at Travis everyday..Every1 says i broke his heart...but i think he broke mine. I m so depressed lately..all he color from my face is going away. Every1 says it because i wont eat. I dont care if i dont eat, Im not hungry. Frankly, all i care about is getting my cell fone bak so i can talk 2 people i actualy care about. I walked over 2 jessies n gave her sister her white pants, I didnt want 2 c Jessie. SHe just Imed me..she wanted 2 no why id otn go in and hang out. I told her i had 2 go home...I didnt, I just didnt want 2 go in there n c her, lately she makes me so mad. I hope she ditches Jolly. Jolly likes Travis. She doesnt even like me but hates me 4 hurting travis. SInce Travis said he hated me last thursday, she does 2. SHe annoyes me so much. If I could pick three people at our skool that wouldnt b alive rite now..like never born..it would b 1. Jolly 2. Cheerleader Bret 3. The person who stole my cell fone. Austin n i r trying 2 figure out how 2 make ice cream..we have sum great answers. He doesnt want 2 walk over 2 the extra mile, or drive over, so were trying 2 figure out how 2 make it. I think our smartest answer was order online. LOL. IM such a hypocirte..i didnt want 2 rite 5 mintues ago..but now here i m. I want 2 sleep. SO goodnite..sweet dreams, have fun in ur life.
Quote of the moment: I wanna b remember as the girl who could brighten ur day, even if she couldnt brighten her own.
You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back
Things change, people change, and it doesnt mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesnt mean giving up it means accepting that some things werent meant to be. You dont ever stop loving someone; if you do... you probably never REALLY loved them. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing whats going to happen next. TAKE CHANCES; life is no fun without them! If you screw up at least you learned something. < working on trying to believe that> Same thing as yesterday. Jolly hates me, I dotn care, I never liked her int he first place. Almost got in a few fights 2day; 1 w/ Anna, Jessie, the twins, Erin, n Jessie yet again. That is a ton of fights. World is full of hate..Im learning 2 slowly deal with it.
Lookin bak on old memories..i miss these dayz...4 instance..how i signed Rachels guestbook in her profile: Hey Rachel!! What is up? Ur a great person, and so much fun 2 b around. But, I still need new friends...LOL. Glad I got 2 know u this year. I Love Tennis! Every 1 join the SWAT and the ACMA. Bye the way..I love Jamie, and I'm gonna kick Nick's @$$! Never leave knifes laying out when I'm sleeping over..or plastic spoons, LOL. Well gotta run hobble hunchbak Rachel. Love, Batman w/ a Superman shirt on..damn it..were u event there..o well, who gives a crap ne way if u were there or not...Bye the way, I'm gonna make a bear w/ a sign that says Nick on it, and stab it 2 death at the mall! LOSER. I totally 4got half of this stuff. I miss these times..i seemed a lot happier. Travis is sumwhat talkin 2 me..i think hes tryin2 piss me off tho..if he wants 2 play that game..im all 4 it. He is so hot tho. 2day he wore a independent shirt over a tight black longsleeve 1..he looked good. 2day is just bad, got a 50 on a quiz, couldnt think, still cant find my cell fone, n boyfriends r useless. That is what is new. SO i dont feel like writing..im in depressed mode. Here is what leah put in her profile on dork page..i m so loved: leah: hey me: hey leah: whats up? me: n2m..talkin2 people..u? leah: nuthin too much, i just have a headache it mite be from the music me: oo..i have a headache from thinking 2 hard I feel loved rite now. Mood-dperessed/loved 4 being a dork BoyFriend-less Jessie-is being a bitch My life-sux Cell FOne-is lost Skool-better end soon, but i better have my cell fone bak b4 friday! Just told Em- Em: how r u and Scoob me: were still in im gonna piss u off more than ur pissin me off mode.
Weekend: boring I called Travis last nite, he hugn up on me. On line 2nite he talked 2 me, jsut had 2 add what he told me: sk8erpunk069 (7:50:14 PM): FYI- im still pissed at u. I laughed..he didnt liek that 2 much. But at least hes talkin 2 me. Sumtimes i wish he would go 2 military skool. I would miss him, but rite now, 4 reason i dont care. I dont like him nemroe..i think. Score 4 the team..Austin n I r having a great convo rite now: me (8:26:30 PM): words of wisdom: never mess w/ sum2 taken b/c 1: u might get ur ass kicked n 2: if they leave sum1 4 u, then they'll leave u 4 sum 2 him (8:26:31 PM): lol me (8:26:31 PM): oo me (8:26:49 PM): thats my insight, learned from years of experience me(8:27:45 PM): yes..im 1 smart cooke when it comes 2 relatioships me (8:28:26 PM): word of advise..only take my smart advise, my stupid 1's rnt that smart i find this great. I told travis i was sorry, n iw anted 2 make it up 2 him. He said i dont have 2 make it up 2 him, hell just b mad at me 4ever, but it will gradually go down. He thought me making up it 2 him, thought sex, i dunno what i was thinkin..i dont even no what i meant. But o well. If he pisses me off, im gonna piss him off. I flipped him off 2day, n smiled when i did it....he got the picture. I wore b-ball short 2day 2. Their Colin's. Every1 was like u look cute 2day. Dad almost didnt let me out of the house, he said i looked like a slob/just go tout of bed. Id idnt care, every1 wears comfy clothes. N then Sarah is having this big cow, i need 2 oic between her group or Travis's. I was onlyg oing out w/ the guy, u hang out w/ ur b/f. She wouldnt no, shes never had 1. Aktually she has, lets say it doesnt count. N then shes liek their isnt enough Sammi 2 fill up those shorts, I was liek shut up u frumpy ugly ass hoe. I dont like her 2 bigen with. Shes just there with every1 else, so she thinks im her friend. Which i m not. I will b over travis in i say um...2 more dayz most likely. That will b nice. Being single is so much fun. Guyz suck ass. I need 2 new 1 tho..I might go out w/ Colin or Will, Travis's best friends, just 2 pizz him off. But their is always Peyton. Dunno yet. Ill figure sumthin out. Life sux..what else is new..but it aktually seems 2 b gettin better. I cant wait til break. Imgonna sleep like no other. Weel g2g. Love every1 lots!
A slow piano playing in the background. The lights down low. The shadows against the wall. "Walk Away" she sings.
So simple isn't it. The lights flicker and there is this dancer that embodies the mood of the song. "I'm addicted to your allure and I'm fiendin' for a cure".
The chills start as his body moves. Slow, calculated. Her voice carries as her body walks away only to turn around again as he moves toward her. "I keep going back to the one thing that I need to walk away from".
You can feel the tension. Its there in the mood of the song. It’s in the sexiness of the sweat that drips from his body. It’s the one thing that keeps us all going back for more. That temptation that we should have never given into. The one that will leave us scarred. " So sad but it's true, Each beat reminds me of you"
Too bad it felt good the first time and every time after that. "Every step I take leads to one mistake, I keep goin' right back to the one thing That I need to walk away from"
It'll always feel that good. That’s what worries me. " I'm about to break I can't stop this ache".
At the end she turns away. He still dances for her. Knowing she'll turn around again. How many of us are the dancers? How many of us have tried to 'walk away'?
Our skool is like the Holocaust: Principle: Hitler Teachers: Nazis Skool in General: Concentration Camps The ID's they "make" us wear: Stars of David Saturday Skool: The gas chamber(etc.)
[b]?!?!Funny how our skool resembles hell!?!?![/b]
Ok..Starting with yesterday: In the morning i met up with Travis, n we talked. Then the bells rang so we desided we prolly should go inside. So we were walkin down the halls, n we got 2 the 1 his french class is at. So he said bye and then he kissed me. At 7:26-28, on September 24th, Travis Brandon kissed me. The only sad part is that.....it will b the last kiss i ever get from him most likely. But it was really funny, he kisses his left, n i kiss rite, so we basically hit heads,..but it worked out just fine in the end. LOL..stories 4 the grandchildren! HAHA. At the start of second period i thought my day was off 2 a great start, then Travis came up 2 me, n was like hey, i gotta tell u sumthing but u have 2 promise 2 not get mad. I said ok. Travis was like, well Im going to millitary skool. I want 2 have u as my g/f, but it would b unfair 2 u, b/c we could never talk or c each other. He was like, I know we'll end up going out again, and I really like u a lot. I agreed, n then my day sucked. Lauren, Jessie, n Katie all got a ride w/ me, n we came over 2 my house, after walking down the Extra Mile 4 20 bucks worth of candy, for the gay project for W.G. that we were spossed 2 do in class..but me n Jessie thought it was only tuesday*wink wink*, so she let us take our stuff home. We had lots of fun..but we all got sick after a while. So at 5:30 Lauren walked over 2 her house, n I walked with Jessie 2 hers, n stayed there til 7:30. Her house was really fun, n then we called Travis. He was so depressed it wasnt even funny. His whole life sux rite now. Well on the fone he was like ur so gay, just kidding around, so I was like so, at least I dont kiss people n then break up with them. He hung up. He now hates me, and wont even talk 2 me. So i walked home, n 2 my surprise..i get yelled at 4 leavin the house a mess, not bringing my cell fone with me, and not telling anyone I was leaving. When i got up 2 my room, n saw my picture of Travis I started crying. Travis means so much 2 me rite now, that no would beleive. My home life seems to suck major rite now. I m never happy xcept with my friends, who my parents do not approve of, because they think they r stupid n im gettin stupider by hanging out with them. WTF! Actually..if they make me happy then bak off. Thats all i have 2 say 2 my parents. I cried a lot last nite, Travis means so much 2 me rite now, n now hes leaving, and hes mad at me, and I will never b able 2 live with myself, b/c he is majorly depressed now, especially since I said that, and he told Jolly today, that he hates me 4 saying that, so basically hes leaving, and he'll b hating me 4ever now, n I guess if he leaves this fall break 4 Military, it will most likely be the last time i see him, becuz i have no idea when we r moving, and with my luck, we will move when i never get 2 talk 2 him again. Today wasnt any better. I got 2 skool..n totally skipped the way i usually go, so I wouldnt have 2 c Travis. I brought the peice of crap project(which we got 100 on) to class, and then went 2 english, which was nice cuz i got 2 talk 2 Sarah and Elena. Elena is gonna or has had a talk with Travis. I got 2 PE, n Travis doesnt even say hi. On the fone last nite he said he wasnt even gonna talk 2 me 2day. He also said he hates me. This makes me sad. Well he chased me aroundtthe gym with AXE(their is a major problem with AXE here) and i desereved it this time. At lunch we sat at opposite ends of the table. He wouldnt even look at me, and when he did he flipped me off. I just sat there n gave him my thanx 4 noticing look. U no what i mean dont u?! Well every time he looked at me in PE he smiled n shook his head no..he is being a real pussy rite now! Im not even gonna call him 2nite, he basically hung up on me last nite, so whats the point. Jessie will talk 2 him though. I wish he didnt have 2 leave, n i wish i had never said that. I get it now. why he kissed me b4 tellin me about Military skool..i dont think he new how 2 tell me, n thats why. I feel like crap 4 sayin that. I cried just b/c i said that! That is the meanest thing i have ever said 2 nebody..n i have said sum mean things. Yesterday he was so upset n depressed, n i just made it worse. I m the biggest idiot/bitch in the world. I want him bak. I was like 2 jessie..why dont u talk 2 him n b like Sammi will do nething 2 get u 2 not hate her, she'll even live up 2 her name(Buttsex) or give u head. But I was j/p yall..that would b so wrong! Damn he is hot.
Tired Of Trying Sick of Crying Yeah, Im Smiling But Inside im Dying.
oh i kno why u wait for me,its that one thing in me that only you could see, i guess i just couldnt see that something in u, that thing u thought would always be true, well now i am sorry, ur right, there is no goingback, and im glad ur not cutting me any slack, i wont come back till i no for sure, and i will no longer take pure hearts and smash them to the floor, cuz now i know how u feel, and that ur feelings were always for real, but the day u rise above me is now here,and now i will bring you no more fear
Well 2day was ok..but last nite was better. Travis n I r offically goin out, he asked me out on the fone. Usually I dont like that, but i didnt care. The only problem is the twins r being the biggest bitches ever. I heard them 2day talkin about me with Erin Bradshaw..i was like wtf Erin. They dont like me n Travis goin out, they r 1 of Allysons good 4 nothin friends who she hates but will not ditch. Then they asked Shawna what she tohought of me cuz i was sittin with her n travis n talkin on the bleachers 2day. They sumhow pissed travis off..dont ask me how. He still needs 2 tell me. Nick is Jessies new stalker. I mean it, he is obsessive. He seemed like a really great guy at homecomming, but he is PHYSCO! I talked 2 him on the fone last nite as well as Jessie n Travis, 3 converstaions at once is actually really hard by the way, but Jessie told him 2 go like Nicole, since Nicole likes him n Jessie is the best person in the world, bcuz she would rather have her friend have the guy she likes than have her friend leave her. I love u Jessie btw, ur 2 sweet 2 every1. But this so worked out 4 the better... Well he was crying on the fone last nite! N hes like..ill never b able to get over jessie in my entire life, i will always think about her, she is the perfect girl. He kept goin on and on and on about it 2! Then he gave her a note this mornin about how he wants 2 talk 2 her 1 last time, just 2 hear her voice. Newsflash buddy..she doesnt think so. She is never talkin, callin, Iming, or seeing him ever again. I agree 100%, he is such a physco. Travis asked me out on the fone last nite, he didnt at skool cuz jessie was with me. He tried 2 kiss me 2day, but 4 sum reason i just wont let him, i turn the other way so he cant, Jessie gave me a bitchin 4 that 1 btw..thanx I felt bad already! She was like u should c the look in his eyes, n i was like ok..just slap me 4 heavens sake. I think i will kiss him 2morrow. I feel really bad rite now. He gave me his skool picture, he also has my id btw, but he gave it 2 me, n when he took it he was stoned, it is so bad..but its the funniest picture i have ever had n im never goin throw it away, no matter what! He is so sweet..n i smell like AXE again, but not as bad. They just sprayed me 2day, no dumpin it on me. So 2day hasnt been all bad i guess, but i was really upset during 2nd period cuz the twins were pissin me off by talkin behind my bak. They r tryin 2 b a good friend 2 allyson, who doesnt even like them. Neway, i feel really bad about the kissin thing. I just said sorry2 him. I get so shy when i first kiss a guy, i kinda lock up i guess. But he tried a few times..gotta give it 2 him 4 tryin. Especially since he was late 20 minutes 2 French. Int he mornin i left 2 go find jessie b4 the bell rang, n he went all over the halls lookin 4 me! I feel kinda bad about that 2. At least i no he cares. But Jessie totally gave me a bitchin thing about not kissing him..i felt kinda bad afterwards..which i already did when i kinda dodged it. Elle likes him..that makes me mad..she keeps tryin2 flirt w/ him.. :x Its so annoyin..im like dude..lay off the b/f! O well. Well hafta c what happens 2 morrow. Xcept Travis just said he feels like shit since i didnt kiss him, he thinks i dont wanna..which is sad..cuz i want 2 really really bad. *hits head so hard it hurts like a mother*. I need 2 call him really bad. Im gonna get Jessie n Will 2get 2gether. Travis is gonna help me. I am in the KHS calander..aint that sumthin! O ya..go me..!! Dont ask what month it is...i dunno yet..but every1 bought 1 n i have a page..whoohoo! I guess im pretty happy about that..N my hair is now dark brown with red tints..it looks really cool. Damn..now me goin out w/ travis is all over the skool....I just got at least 10 new ims.."r u goin out w/ Travis". Heres the answer..HELL YA!!!
I really dont get this whole blog thing, but people say they really help you, so I m goin 2 try it. Its the new trend here so I guess it cant b all that bad. I dont like school, but what else is new. As you can prolly tell I really dont know what to say in my first blog. Ill start off liek this then i guess; well I am completley over NICK! I m so happy 4 myself. Homecomming was really fun on Friday nite. I went with Jessie and Nicole, and we met up with this really hot Nick guy n i got 2 know/flirt with him major. He is the biggest sweety. He bought me a Coke, and was gonna buy me everything i wanted but that would b rude so i only got a Coke. I flirted with him A LOT. But i talked to him on the fone when Jessie came over to my house 4 pizza when we were bored..that made me feel special, she ditched every1 when she came over here but she was gonna c a movie. We had a lot of fun, but i tipped the pizza guy to much my parents said, and i payed 2 much 4 a medium cheese pizza, i didnt think 15 dollars was that much. Well Nick told me he liked Jessie and was gonna ask her out, but Nicole likes Nick who is also Jessies other best friend. She told Nicole she liked Nick, and Nicole got steamed, so Jessie left my house and went over to Nicoles, and then she called me back and she was crying. I was gonna go over 2 her house but she said not 2. Hanging out w/ this new Nick was so much fun tho. He helped me get away from my stalker, he was really nice and i mean i gave him like 50 hugs. Travis and I will soon be going out. He dumped Allyson yesterday, and he was gonna ask me out after school or b4, but i was with Jessie after skool, n b4 i had 2 go get sum homework 2 copy from Jessie, so he didnt get the chance. He is so nice n sweet. He is really hot 2. I dont really like the fact that he does sum drugs, but I really dont care, bcuz he has a good reason. He saw his dad die when he was 9, it is so sad..he was walkin with him when he had a heart attack. He is really depressed about it, and he even goes 2 anger managment. I no i really shouldnt get involved with a guy like this, but he is one of the best i have ever talked 2. He has a charming side to him. I love it when he puts his arm around me, or hugs me and never lets go. I like how he calls me on the fone, and last nite when he was warning me on AIM, i loved it how when i blocked him he called me within 30 seconds and asked if i was mad at him. I m so glad I have found a guy like Megan has, hers is one of the best I would say. She always talks about everything good about him. He is so sweet 2 her, n since she is kinda depressed, he holds her n all her troubles go away. Travis seems to do that 4 me. 2day he had AXE in his bakpak, the voodoo 1 which smells really good. He held me n will sprayed it all over me which wasnt very nice, but when steven tried getting high off the aerosol, so he was sprayin it in the lid, n he threw the lid on me full of AXE, so i smelled a great deal like AXE at lunch n 3rd period. Travis tried holding my hand under the table since his x g.f was at the other end, n we were havin more of a thumb war then holdin hands until the end. I love talkin 2 him, we talked 4 12 hours this weekend, which was very good btw. I died m hair bak brown last friday, n i think its 2 dark. I wanted 2 dye it last nite, but my mom said if i keep dyin it it will fall out. That doesnt sound very appealing. My mom hasnt been the nicest lately either. I hate having to clean my room. And she wont buy me nething without taking it n tellin me its 4 Christmas. Im buying Scoob his b/day present soon, its gonna b a comic book character shirt n KFC. This sounds really dorky, but he likes comics books, even skaters like comics!! n him n i both love popcorn chicken. We r perfect. And oreos..its weird how we both love the same things. He always tells me he loves me, n i really like that. Nick looked gay at homecomming btw. Not sweet Nick, other old liking Nick, 1 side of his face was yellow, the other blue, n his hair was blue. He scares me sumtimes. This is not the Nick i hung out w/ at homecomming btw. The Nick i hung out at homecomming went out 2 Nicoles parents van n we talked, with Jessie n Nicole with us, but i played nervous with him. The only problem was we got caught with a guy in the van which isnt allowed..it wasnt 2 great. We won btw, 32-21. GO TEAM! My hand hurts from typin now. I LOVE MY SCOOB! TTyL. MONDAYS FATAL SMILE Time passes and the notes, they fall its hard to look back and wonder if we even had it to begin with still and waiting now don't know what to think i was hoping to learn a few things from this See, I'll be wearing your heart that you gave me and maybe . . . we wont make it through but i hope you wil ltry don't give up so soon we'll share a few things . . . that we used to when the world turns on you face towards, please dont look back don't look on me as the plague you left behind dont be like me, its your time to shine and when you take things too harsh remember, id rather be you
